His Presence Was Enough

A friend was what he was.  A stranger is what he is now.  A friend of my heart he will always be.
Let's start over.

I heard he'd come clear with her.  He's starting over, insya Allah.

He was a good man, actually one of the best I know.  You wouldn't think it.  But he was.  Whenever I saw him, my heart would tremble, not because I was scared of him.  But because I was scared of the way he made me feel.  When he looked at me it was as if he was trying to read the stories behind my eyes.  It was like he was longing for me to tell them all to him one by one.  How beautiful is that?  For someone to want to know you, to know every piece that made you who you are.

I never wanted better, I just wanted someone who would understand me.  Understand even if they hardly knew how.  And that's what he did.  He didn't have to speak to show me he was there.  His presence was enough.  It gave me the power to speak up and not hide myself from the world.  I knew at the end of the day he would be there, not fighting my battles for me but comforting me through every hardship.  Being there.  That's all  I ever needed.  That's why I chose to stay.  Right beside him.  That's where I felt safe.  He did that for me.

The best thing I ever did was love him because he taught me how to love myself.  He was a broken man and I was the woman hoping to mend his soul.  I pray I did, and if I didn't I hope someone else does, because he healed parts of me I didn't even know existed.  I may never be his, but I pray for him everyday.  He deserves the world and it's sad because he doesn't even know it.

One day, insya Allah.. I'd love to tell him how much he's worth.  A lot, if not to the world, to me.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina