I'd Wait

The people who are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander.

Let me just me recall, being frank (apologies on the language).
I was the one who took your bullshit.  I was the one who actually cared about you.  I was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave.  I was the one who loved you even when you gave me every reason not to.  Lastly, I was the one who was there for you when no one else was.

Why?

I was almost over him, about a year ago..  Sincerely, I waited for him in silence.  I knew he's happy by the looks of it.  But deep down, I felt as if I needed him.  There's something about his presence that makes me who I am today.  It wasn't as if he chose what's gonna happen next.  Life is a matter of choice, a teacher always said.  But what if the wrong choice makes a better you today?

Back to the question.

He was the only man I felt I can love like family.  He knew the language to my soul.  He'd often talk about life, and things that matters to him.  His words may not be wise, but it's like music to my soul.  I know I'm at ease.

I fought for the words he kept close to his heart because I wanted to know the man he was.  There's something about a man that's been wounded before.  His scars told stories that I never thought a woman like me would know the meaning of.  I admired his courage, I admired his honesty.  And when he laughed, everything inside me laughed with him.

What's Next?

I fear his love.  I fear the intensity.  But I'll wait, for the day he becomes halal.  I'll sure have a lot to say.  Let's just practice sabr and wait a little more, because I know how it felt to be loved by a man like him; a man that caught fire from those around him, but never let the flame touch me.

I'd wait for him.  It's like he lived for storms.  His heart as soft as a child, only those close to him knew.  Every time his eyes met mine, my soul would smile.  To know a man would fight for both of us, to know a man who'd do anything to protect those he loved.

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And if he were to leave again, I'd watch him from a distance, I'd wish his name on every tide, standing at the edge of the shore.  I'd hope and I'd pray that he would come back to me again, if Allah wills.

Yours sincerely,

'Izzah Syauqina