على قيد الحياة (Still Alive)

You waited for something which was impossible.  He couldn't even keep his promise to marry you.
Well, not when she knows he still have someone waiting for him every day, meeting as and when they want to..  And saying words of love any minute of the day.

You kept thinking what if, but slowly you realised as time went on.  You cannot hold onto something which doesn't belong to you, it never did.  You mistook his words for love when he didn't give you any reason to stay.

You hate that sickening feeling you wake up to every morning, that void you can feel every time you breathe.  It's hard to survive without the one person who gave you a reason to live (or so..).  But it's worse when that reason no longer became the reason to stay.

If he's marrying her, you have no choice but to let go.
He made his choice.. if he cannot fight for you then what are you fighting for?

You're looking for a reason to survive in this heartache.  But don't you know?  You have to die in order to live, you bury you soul alongside your love (for this once).

The new person you become will be a tiny fragment of your love for him.
That's all you will be.
You will survive one day, insya Allah.

For the decision making, I leave it all to my parents, and only Him.
Insya Allah..
Amiin!

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina