Saturday, 21 November 2015

Gerangan Seorang Ibu; Mama

9hb Nov 2015
Tarikh bersejarah, menyaksikan aku melafazkan kata 'Mama' pada insan yang bakal menjadi ibu mertuaku.  Hati kegirangan kerana itu adalah satu alamat aku ikhlas diterima sebagai salah seorang daripada anak menantunya. Alhamdulillah Ya Rabb..

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Mama..
Terima kasih kerana sudi terima 'Izzah dalam keluarga mama dengan hati yang terbuka..  Mama tahu tak betapa jantung ni berdegup kegirangan masa pertama kali mama sambut 'Izzah dengan tangan terbuka? Pertama kali jumpa di rumah, pertama kali mama peluk cium 'Izzah tanda ukhuwah kami terjalin? Ya, 'Izzah tak pernah terfikir mama boleh terima 'Izzah sehangat tu..  Apalagi sebab 'Izzah gadis yang biasa-biasa saja.

'Izzah ingat kali pertama 'Izzah diajak berkunjung ke rumah mama. 'Izzah gugup luar biasa, takut kalau-kalau ahli keluarga lain akan menolak 'Izzah. Namun nyatanya ketakutan hanya ada dalam lingkaran kepala saja.

Saat kali pertama 'Izzah tiba, Sha ada menemani. Mama terus sambut kami dengan senyum mesra. Mama lah yang membuka bicara, memahami 'Izzah yang saat itu sedang dilanda kegugupan dan sungguh awkward walaupun Sha ada sama.

Kunjungan 'Izzah yang kedua dan seterusnya, mama tak pernah alpa untuk duduk bersama membicarakan itu-ini.  Kami berbuka puasa semeja dengan si pengarang hati yang kaki usik.

Sekali lagi.. terima kasih mama, sudi terima gadis biasa ni jadi sebahagiaan dari keluarga mama.

'Izzah memang gadis yang biasa-biasa saja.  Tak pandai memulas bedak dan mengoleskan gincu.. selera pakaian 'Izzah pun tak istimewa.  Selalu itu-itu saja.. tak mengikuti gaya berpakaian gadis zaman sekarang.

Untuk urusan dapur pula, 'Izzah pun biasa-biasa saja. Tak begitu pandai..  Maaf mama.. memang banyak kekurangan diri ni..  Sungguh tak sesuai dengan anak putra mama.

Kalau dibandingkan dengan gadis lain, 'Izzah memang kalah jauh sekali.  Tapi kalau nak dibandingkan kadar cinta 'Izzah pada si dia, mama tak perlu risau.  Insya Allah 'Izzah yakin dengan hati ni.  Ya, 'Izzah cintakan dia dari lipatan hati yang paling dalam.  'Izzah janji pada mama.. dengan segala kekurangan yang 'Izzah miliki, 'Izzah akan berusaha membahagiakan putra kesayangan mama.

'Izzah sedia belajar menjadi wanita teladan.  Semoga mama sudi membimbing 'Izzah jadi isteri yang solehah, yang istimewa di mata suami. Amiin!

Mama tak perlu risau.. esok saat hari istimewa 'Izzah dan dia tiba, putra kesayangan mama tidak akan pergi ke mana-mana.  Sebab mama bintang hati dia yang utama.  'Izzah yang biasa-biasa saja.  'Izzah akan ada di samping dia untuk sama-sama jaga mama, dan bina keluarga sakinah, insya Allah.

Ya, kami akan saling mengucap janji sehidup semati di depan ratusan pasang mata.  Kami akan saling memautkan jemari hingga usia kami senja, insya Allah. 'Izzah akan menjadi teman hidupnya yang akan selalu menemani dan sedia di sampingnya.  Menemaninya melewati masa-masa suka mahupun duka dalam kehidupan.  Ya, 'Izzah janji akan selalu ada di sisinya dalam kesenangan mahupun kesusahan.

Mama, 'Izzah mohon doanya..

Dariku,
Gadis sederhana yang sudah siap mendampingi hidup putra kesayanganmu.

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Friday, 20 November 2015

Alfatihah Buatmu

Bismillah..

Semua orang akan diuji Tuhan, semua orang akan merasai kehilangan. Kesakitan kehilangan orang tersayang yang selalu disisi, dihati dan menemani jiwa hari-hari. Namun bila sampainya hari Tuhan ambil dia semula, kita akan rasa satu dentuman halilintar yang memecah gunung-ganang. Sakit.

Namun sebenarnya kenangan dengan mereka itulah kekuatan. Ingatan itu mampu buat kita berdoa untuk dia, sebab dia ada dalam jalur masa hidup kita yang indah dulu. 

Rasullullah saw juga diuji kehilangan orang tersayang. Dua orang dalam tempoh berdekatan. Namun beliau redha dan mengetahui betapa besar nilai ganjaran mereka bersabar & betapa sayang Allah kepada beliau.

Kalau rindu sangat, apa kita kena buat? Paling penting kita kena sedar yang dia pergi menghadap Tuhan DIA, Tuhan kita juga.. yang kita juga akan temui nanti. Lepas tu, kita kena sibuk-sibukkan diri.. mesti dia tak nak kita bersedih dan menyalahkan takdir kan? Jadi kita kena kuat. Jangan terlalu bersedih..

Apa pula kita buat bila kehilangan orang tersayang?

Pertama :

Paling utama ialah kita perlu ingat dan percaya bahawa kematian adalah pasti untuk setiap insan. Sama ada cepat atau lambat, kematian pasti datang.
Bila? Di mana?
Bagaimana cara atau apa sebabnya?
Hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui.

"Fa innal mautal lazi tafirruna minhu fainnahu mulaqikum"
Maka sesungguhnya kematian yang kamu lari daripadanya itu pasti datang menemui mu.

"Kullu nafsin zaaiqatul maut"
Setiap jiwa akan merasai mati..

Allah swt berfirman, “Tiap-tiap yang bernyawa akan merasai mati dan bahawasanya pada Hari Kiamat sajalah akan disempurnakan balasan kamu. Ketika itu sesiapa yang dijauhkan dari neraka dan dimasukkan ke syurga, maka sesungguhnya ia sudah berjaya. Dan ingatlah bahawa kehidupan di dunia ini meliputi segala kemewahannya dan pangkat kebesarannya tidak lain hanyalah kesenangan bagi orang yang terpedaya.” - Ali Imran; 185

Kedua:

Kita boleh menangis kerana kehilangan tetapi jangan sampai kita tidak merelakan pemergiannya. Tidak merelakan bererti kita melawan takdir Ilahi, nauzubillah.

Orang yang bersabar menghadapi kematian adalah orang yang sentiasa berada di bawah perlindungan Allah.

“Orang yang apabila mereka ditimpa oleh sesuatu kesusahan, mereka berkata: Sesungguhnya kami adalah kepunyaan Allah dan kepada Allah jualah kami kembali. Mereka itu ialah orang yang dilimpahi dengan pelbagai kebaikan dari Tuhan mereka serta rahmatNya. Dan mereka itulah orang yang dapat petunjuk hidayahNya.”  - Al-Baqarah; 156-157

Ketiga:

Jangan fikirkan kesusahan yang bakal kita tempuhi di dalam hidup kerana kehilangannya sebaliknya fikirkan bagaimanakah caranya untuk kita meneruskan kehidupan setelah pemergiannya. Ingat! Allah dah janjikan rezeki yang tersendiri untuk setiap makhluknya yang hidup di muka bumi ini. Kita hanya perlu berusaha, ikhtiar dan tawakkal, insyaAllah ada rezeki yang datang kepada kita.

Keempat:

Tunaikan hasrat si mati. Jika kita mempunyai impian bersama untuk sesuatu, jangan jadikan kematian pasangan kita sebagai alasan untuk kita menguburkan impian tersebut. Sebaliknya kita perlu tabahkan hati dan kuatkan semangat untuk menunaikan impian dan hasrat arwah. Insya Allah, rohnya akan turut gembira bila impiannya ditunaikan oleh kita.

Kelima:

Jangan kecewakan roh si mati.
Yang penting, kehidupan selepas kematian itu ada. Bermula di alam kubur seterusnya di akhirat setelah berlakunya kiamat. Tiada jaminan selamat daripada seksaan kubur melainkan si mati membawa bersamanya amal soleh.
“Demi Allah, seandainya jenazah yang sedang kamu tangisi boleh berbicara, lalu menceritakan (pengalaman sakaratul mautnya) pada kamu sekelian, nescaya kamu akan melupakan jenazah tersebut, dan mulai menangisi diri kamu sendiri”. - Imam Ghazali, daripada Al-Hasan

Cakap memang mudah, nak buat sangatlah payah. Tapi tak gerak, tak buat, macam mana semua benda nak jadi lebih baik? Jadi pandanglah ke depan dengan 1001 perasaan yang penuh keredhaan. Yang pergi sudah pun pergi. Kita yang hidup ni, tak tahu bila pula nanti.

Rasulullah saw bersabda yang bermaksud:
Dari Abdullah r.a katanya: Telah bersabda Rasulullah SAW: “Siapa yang mengucapkan takziah kepada orang yang ditimpa musibah, maka dia memperoleh pahala seperti pahala orang yang mendapat musibah.” - Riwayat Ibnu Majah

REDHA , REDHA, REDHA.
Semoga kuat..

Nota untuk diri:  Ujian ini adalah tanda Allah sayang kita, meningkatkan iman kita dan menghapuskan dosa-dosa kita. Insya Allah, kita boleh. Semoga kuat menghadapi hari-hari muka, jauh dari ahli keluarga :)

20 Nov 2015
Alfatihah buat Hj Mohammad bin Ibrahim,
dan seluruh umat Islam

Tok, kita dah makin jauh.. I'll visit you when I come home. And I'll see you again there insya Allah. We'll take good care of your brother.. don't you worry. Semoga tenang bersama para syuhada' dan solihin.. Amiin!

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Tuesday, 17 November 2015

Pohon Semalu

"Pohon semalu. Pantang disentuh pasti menunduk sopan, tapi durinya tetap tajam berceracakan."

"Tapi pohon semalu tumbuh melata di atas tanah, susah saya nak main bola. Biasanya ia tumbuh di tengah padang."

"Cuba kita bawa minda kita sejenak ke padang bola. Susah nak nampak pohon semalu kat situ kan? Pohon semalu kan pemalu.. ia takkan hidup lama di tempat banyak lelaki tu. Ia akan cari pinggir yg tersembunyi dan jarang dipijak orang untuk tumbuh subur. Takkan menyusahkan orang, insya Allah."

"Durinya tajam! Saya dah pernah terpijak. Itu tak dinamakan menyusahkan orang?"

"Orang yg pijak duri semalu tu, orangnya tak pakai selipar. Dia tak pandai nak berhati-hati.. padanlah mendapat ikhtibar daripada pohon semalu."

"Ada satu lagi soalan.. kenapa pohon semalu sering dibuang orang? Contohnya, di taman mak saya, bila dia nampak ada pohon semalu tumbuh, cepat-cepat dibersihkan daripada taman tu."

"Apa nak hairan jika sesuatu itu kelihatan terbuang? Lihat Rasulullah, kerana Islam, Baginda terbuang dan dimusuhi. Namun, andai ada seorang manusia yg membuang Baginda, berpuluh-puluh yg lain menyayanginya. Kenapa? Kerana Baginda dibela istimewa di hati pendinta Allah dan RasulNya. Pandangan Allah paling utama bukan pandangan manusia.

Ikhtibarnya, biarlah semua manusia membuang kita asalkan kita tetap berjaya memenangi pandangan Allah azza wajalla. Kita hidup pada akhir zaman, Islam kembali dagang seperti zaman Rasulullah s.a.w mula-mula bawa Islam. Oleh itu, tak hairanlah jika kebenaran sering nampak terbuang dan terasing. Islam dagang buat kali kedua. Rasulullah dah pernah lalui buat kali pertama.

Pohon semalu, memang pemalu. Sifat malu lambang keindahan dan kemuliaan wanita bermaruah. Hakikatnya, malu bukan hanya untuk wanita. Tetapi untuk lelaki juga. Bukankah Rasulullah s.a.w pemalu orangnya?
Daripada Sa'id Al-Khudri katanya:
كان رسول الله أشد حياء من العذراء في خدرها وكان إذا رأى شيئا يكرهه عرفناه في وجهه
'Baginda Rasulullah adalah seorang yg sangat pemalu lebih daripada seorang dara dalam kelubungnya dan apabila melihat sesuatu yg tidak disukai Baginda, nescaya kami dapat camkan yg demikian itu daripada wajah Baginda.' - Hadith riwayat Muslim

Malu juga melambangkan nilai keimanan dan kesusilaan.
Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w:
الحياء والإيمان قرناء جميعا فإذا رفع أحدهما رفع اﻷخر
'Malu dan iman itu adalah teman seiring jalan. Jika yg satu diangkat nescaya terangkat pula yg satu lagi.'
- Hadith riwayat Malik

Dalan hadith yg lain, Baginda bersabda,
إن لكل خلقا وخلق الإسلام الحياء
'Sesungguhnya bagi tiap-tiap agama itu ada ciri-ciri kesusilaan maka untuk Islam ialah sifat malu.'
Hebat sifat malu kan?"

"Tapi, cikgu selalu pesan, jangan malu bertanya dalam kelas."

"Perlu difahami, kita tak perlu malu dalam menuntut ilmu dan menegakkan kebenaran Allah. Malu yg saya maksudkan adalah malu bertempat. Malu untuk menjadi wanita yg rosak akhlaknya iaitu yg hanya pandai menggoda lelaki bukan mahramnya. Selain itu, malu untuk melakukan maksiat. Pendek kata malu pada Allah dan Rasul untuk mengingkari perintahNya dan melakukan laranganNya.

Bagi si pohon semalu, bersama sifat malunya ada duri yg tajam berbisa. Duri itu simbolik untuk sebuah perjuangan yg lahir daripada iman. Duri itu ibarat senjata yg mahu meruntuhkan semua kemungkaran yg ada. Itulah senjata buat seorang mujahidah.

Pohon semalu juga mengeluarkan bunga ungu yg cantik. Begitulah juga wawasan seorang mujahidah. Dia ingin menghiasi alam dengan haruman bunga-bungaan akhlak yg cantik menawan.

Selain itu, dedaun yg menghijau pada pohon semalu sangat erat pertaliannya antara satu sama lain. Apabila sehelai daun disentuh, daun-daun di tepinya turut tertutup malu. Tindakbalas daun-daun itu lambang persaudaraan dan kasih sayang. Begitulah seorang mujahidah, dia perlu memandang semua orang dengan kaca mata dakwah untuk membawa seseorang itu mencintai Allah dan RasulNya.

Indahnya jika dapat membawa seseorang rasa bahagia dengan cara hidup Islam yg sebenar. Kerja ini sepatutnya terpikul pada semua orang yg mengaku beriman. Moga Allah sudi memilih kita semua untuk memikul tugas berat ini.

Dalam serangkap hadith Rasulullah s.a.w yg cukup indah.. katanya,
الحياء خير كله
'Malu itu baik semuanya.'
- Hadith riwayat Bukhari

______________________________

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Kelebihan Berpuasa Di Bulan Zulhijjah

Alhamdulillah, berlalu sudah 1 Zulhijjah 1436H.

Mari kita lihat kelebihan-kelebihan yang dapat kita raih dengan ibadah berpuasa di bulan suci ini..

Semoga bermanfaat!

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Manusia

Bismillah..

Tidak ada yang mudah mendepani duga-duga yang didatangi Allah swt terhadap hambaNya. Selagi bernama manusia, selagi itu rasa tidak puas hati atau rasa tidak cukup itu bertakhta dalam diri.

Sebab itu, Al-Quran sering mengingatkan manusia agar jangan leka dengan nikmat duniawi..

Allahu a'lam

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

You Never Did

You never apologized to me for hurting me. But I apologized to you ample times for being angry about it.

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So, it goes..
My message was not replied the last time. But I sent you another in case you missed it, and because I simply want a reply.

While waiting for that simple reply I wanted, I accidentelly dozed off because I was bored and it takes you so long to read my message. It was 12+am when I last checked.

Approximately 2 hrs later, a call came in. It was you.. and I was elated. Not for long 'cause you made a big fuss about me not replying, and actually slept.. while you're waiting for MY reply.

The now sleepy me tried to calm you down but failed. You hung up. I was ready to ignore your tantrum and go back to sleep, but decided to read YOUR reply. Just a simple 3 liner reply which can make my waiting a kind of fruitful... actually was read bitter by me.

I called you and tried to talk you round, but I guess the now sleepy me couldn't do much to please you. So I decided to let go.. let you have your rest. And me too of course..

Today, I checked on you. You just woke up. I thought things were gonna be ok now.. but I was totally wrong. You're still angry at me and I don't mind that. However, it's your attitude that disappoints me.

To You, I don't mind you being fussy, spoilt, or just seeking my attention. Whatever it is.. But have you ever thought about me? Your hurting me time and again makes me disheartened.

To You, if this goes on.. I'm afraid you'll lose me along the way. Or say, I'll lose you. 'Cause I don't know how long can this heart of mine can sustain the aches you're causing. Or is it me again? Fine.

Till then..

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Saturday, 25 July 2015

I Could Walk Forever in My Garden

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Know Your Mahrams - EID 1436H

Eid Mubaarak, Selamat Hari Raya!!
Alhamdulillah, ibadah puasa selesai kita laksanakan.

Dalam menyambut Syawal, jangan kita lupa atau buat-buat lupa mana haram, mana mahram!

^^ SELAMAT MENYAMBUT SYAWAL~

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Monday, 13 July 2015

Your Touch

One day someone is going to touch you
And it will not be with their hands.
They will move you with the way they speak,
The way they think,
The way they see the world.
And you won't know if this is just an intellectual exchange,
Or if it is something greater.
But you'll know one thing;
That nobody else has ever touched you like that.
And if you lose them,
You will find yourself
Searching for that touch in every person you meet.
Because not anybody can just penetrate
your intangible human layers.
But somehow, they did.
- Nashiha Pervin

And ironically, you sucessfully did it.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Treat Him Right

Alhamdulillah thumma Alhamdulillah..

27th June 2015, 10 Ramdhan 1436H
Around 3-4pm

I was engaged to him (in the views of Islam), in the presence of all my family members including my grandfather, and my future mother in-law.

A simple procedure, Alhamdulillah. The nervousness was extremely hard. But the 'after effects' of it was a huge sigh of relief!

No one says it's easy.

Insya Allah, may this relationship be in His redha always.. Amiin!

I'm still trying to process this fact; that I'm someone's fiancée now. And insya Allah we will discuss further on the date of engagement in the view of our community.

Nonetheless, insya Allah.. I pray to Allah that this step in life will bring me and him closer to Allah. Amiin!

That's all for now. Getting ready for iftar over at his house.
Happy tarawih~

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Doing Good is Very Expensive

Marriage is a Sunnah of our Prophet SAW.
A lot of youngsters today is complaining of fitnah and the fear of falling into zina (fornication).  A lot of them are university students whom can't afford getting married on their own.

The Prophet SAW instructed youths to fast if they are unable to afford marriage.  However, it is the duty of the parents to help their son or daughter to get married if they are unable to do that on their own.

Scholars say that it is mandatory to get married for those who fear falling into forbidden relationships.

I can't understand why most parents risk their children falling in such forbidden relationships and insist that they marry only when they finish school, or when employed.  Falling into zina is very easy, while doing good is very expensive today; financially, and emotionally.

_________________________________________________________________________________

This is very true.

It's understandable that you want to establish yourself before you get married.  For men especially, you want to get married when you know you can provide for your wife and family.

Some may disagree, but I believe.. if two people fall in love, the right thing to do is to get married or have a nikah.  The rest will come after, insya Allah.

At this point, I am very disappointed with some people..  let's just not say who.  Would they rather, their children fall into zina?  Why is there such hostility towards this topic when their children confidently says they are ready for it, and has acknowledged the responsibilities that comes with it..?  I mean, no matter what their children are doing right now, no matter at what stage they are in life, why is there no support for a sunnah?

Members of the public, what are your views?
She's 21, and he's 23.  And they are ready to take the next step.

Allahu a'lam.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina 

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

A Date

15th June 2015

We met.  It wasn't a date exactly.  Rather, it's a date he randomly chose to meet up after so long.  We had our dinner, and did some catch up.

If he's aim was to make me happy that night, he did well.  I must say that despite not meeting him after so long, I was more comfortable around him now that our meet ups before.  I was more of myself.  It made me certain that he's the one I need in my life.

B.V, Nando's, 1/4 chicken with garlic bread and iced chocolate, grilled chicken in pita on it's own and Heaven & Earth Green Tea.  Makes me hungry again as I typed this out.

Teasing and sharing as we had our dinner, a small talk following that, until the taxi ride ends just behind my block.  I love it all!

The talk.  Sincerely, I love the idea of just sitting by him and listening.  He's feeling extremely guilty over the past incidents and encounters, but I can't get him to understand that I'm over those stuffs and are ready to focus on our future.  I am finding ways to let my parents know about us and all our plannings.  And I need him to stay focused and be supportive.  That's what I need now.  I'm a bit shy about these stuffs.. so I needed time, and most importantly his support.

However looking at his condition yesterday... I'll have to deal with it myself, while helping him pick himself up again.  I don't like him having very low self-esteem.  So I'll do whatever it takes to help him get back on track again.  I'm not sure I can.. but there's no harm trying, right?

16th June 2015

Today, he dropped by.  This time bringing us Ajwa dates, together with a sister's order.  My brother took it from him while I'm home busy with some cooking preparations for our late lunch and dinner.

Nothing much, but my brother did say something about him being his brother in-law.  I just laughed it off.

Tomorrow, on a side note.. I plan to break the news to my mum.  Do pray for us.  I hope she's open to the idea of us getting married soonest possible insya Allah.

Thank you!

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Friday, 12 June 2015

Solitude

I want to stay up all night painting my feelings away but I've got no brushes and I've got no paint. I've got no pencils, I've got no paper. Sad moment when everything is trapped in your head.

Airports; one of the best place to clear your messed and disturbed mind.

Allah musta'an..

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Thursday, 11 June 2015

Won't Last Forever

I can feel your pain through the words you speak.  The cold truth of reality.  You meet people in this world that are unable to understand your soul.  There are people in this world you trust with all your heart, only to have them betray you, lose you along the way, and here you are trying to find your way back.  I've learnt what you suffer will continue to make you stronger.

Don't let the actions of others change the person they once claimed to love.  This is not the end of your story, it's the start of you learning how to live without those you've loved.  All the words in the world will not always make you feel better.

Just know this feeling won't last forever.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

His Presence Was Enough

A friend was what he was.  A stranger is what he is now.  A friend of my heart he will always be.
Let's start over.

I heard he'd come clear with her.  He's starting over, insya Allah.

He was a good man, actually one of the best I know.  You wouldn't think it.  But he was.  Whenever I saw him, my heart would tremble, not because I was scared of him.  But because I was scared of the way he made me feel.  When he looked at me it was as if he was trying to read the stories behind my eyes.  It was like he was longing for me to tell them all to him one by one.  How beautiful is that?  For someone to want to know you, to know every piece that made you who you are.

I never wanted better, I just wanted someone who would understand me.  Understand even if they hardly knew how.  And that's what he did.  He didn't have to speak to show me he was there.  His presence was enough.  It gave me the power to speak up and not hide myself from the world.  I knew at the end of the day he would be there, not fighting my battles for me but comforting me through every hardship.  Being there.  That's all  I ever needed.  That's why I chose to stay.  Right beside him.  That's where I felt safe.  He did that for me.

The best thing I ever did was love him because he taught me how to love myself.  He was a broken man and I was the woman hoping to mend his soul.  I pray I did, and if I didn't I hope someone else does, because he healed parts of me I didn't even know existed.  I may never be his, but I pray for him everyday.  He deserves the world and it's sad because he doesn't even know it.

One day, insya Allah.. I'd love to tell him how much he's worth.  A lot, if not to the world, to me.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Tuesday, 9 June 2015

I'd Wait

The people who are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander.


Let me just me recall, being frank (apologies on the language).
I was the one who took your bullshit.  I was the one who actually cared about you.  I was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave.  I was the one who loved you even when you gave me every reason not to.  Lastly, I was the one who was there for you when no one else was.

Why?


I was almost over him, about a year ago..  Sincerely, I waited for him in silence.  I knew he's happy by the looks of it.  But deep down, I felt as if I needed him.  There's something about his presence that makes me who I am today.  It wasn't as if he chose what's gonna happen next.  Life is a matter of choice, a teacher always said.  But what if the wrong choice makes a better you today?

Back to the question.
He was the only man I felt I can love like family.  He knew the language to my soul.  He'd often talk about life, and things that matters to him.  His words may not be wise, but it's like music to my soul.  I know I'm at ease.

I fought for the words he kept close to his heart because I wanted to know the man he was.  There's something about a man that's been wounded before.  His scars told stories that I never thought a woman like me would know the meaning of.  I admired his courage, I admired his honesty.  And when he laughed, everything inside me laughed with him.

What's Next?

I fear his love.  I fear the intensity.  But I'll wait, for the day he becomes halal.  I'll sure have a lot to say.  Let's just practice sabr and wait a little more, because I know how it felt to be loved by a man like him; a man that caught fire from those around him, but never let the flame touch me.

I'd wait for him.  It's like he lived for storms.  His heart as soft as a child, only those close to him knew.  Every time his eyes met mine, my soul would smile.  To know a man would fight for both of us, to know a man who'd do anything to protect those he loved.


_________________________________________________________________________________

And if he were to leave again, I'd watch him from a distance, I'd wish his name on every tide, standing at the edge of the shore.  I'd hope and I'd pray that he would come back to me again, if Allah wills.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina 

Monday, 8 June 2015

رحلة طويلة (Long Holidays)

Summer holidays mode on!!
Alhamdulillah, with finals just over a few hours ago, it's time for me to relax the mind and body, insya Allah..

Just a note to myself this long summer holiday,
I know the road is long and I know you're hurting.  But look back for a second.  Look at how far you have come.  It's a long journey.  It's the hardest one you have faced yet.  But you survived it before and with the mercy of Allah, you will survive, insya Allah..  Amiin!

All the best!  If he is meant to be, insya Allah all will go well.  Amiin!

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

So Much to Look Forward To

~ There's no reason to look back when you have so much to look forward to. ~

Alhamdulillah, final exam are finally over for this semester..
Looking forward to be back home to a whole lot of family time, insya Allah!!

_________________________________________________________________________

Everything will be okay.  It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will be.  Every pain we feel is important.  Every struggle is important.  Sometimes it feels like an endless battle, a battle we try so hard to fight but never quite end up winning.

The beauty of it though, is that we do win, we just don't know it.
Pain teaches us patience, it show us glory.  We as humans mourn what we've lost and cry for what we don't have.  Everything sent to us is sent by Allah, the One who loves us the most.  Once we learn to trust Allah, the heavy weight in our hearts will begin to fade.

There is always light where Allah is.  Always remember that Allah does not burden a soul with what it cannot bear and overcome.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina 

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Apples - Delay Your Judgment

A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both hands.

Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile, "My sweetie, could you give your mum one of your two apples?"

The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.

The mum felt the smile on her face freeze.  She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.  Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum, and said, "Mummy, here you are. This is the sweeter one."

_________________________________

No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgement. Give others the privelege to explain themselves. What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Friday, 5 June 2015

قلب امراة (A Woman's Heart)

A woman's heart is so pure.  You can break her heart and she will still love you with every broken piece.

على قيد الحياة (Still Alive)

You waited for something which was impossible.  He couldn't even keep his promise to marry you.
Well, not when she knows he still have someone waiting for him every day, meeting as and when they want to..  And saying words of love any minute of the day.

You kept thinking what if, but slowly you realised as time went on.  You cannot hold onto something which doesn't belong to you, it never did.  You mistook his words for love when he didn't give you any reason to stay.

You hate that sickening feeling you wake up to every morning, that void you can feel every time you breathe.  It's hard to survive without the one person who gave you a reason to live (or so..).  But it's worse when that reason no longer became the reason to stay.

If he's marrying her, you have no choice but to let go.
He made his choice.. if he cannot fight for you then what are you fighting for?

You're looking for a reason to survive in this heartache.  But don't you know?  You have to die in order to live, you bury you soul alongside your love (for this once).

The new person you become will be a tiny fragment of your love for him.
That's all you will be.
You will survive one day, insya Allah.

For the decision making, I leave it all to my parents, and only Him.
Insya Allah..
Amiin!

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Thursday, 4 June 2015

Cure to Love

Peranan Wanita Dalam Islam

Peranan wanita tidak sekadar pemuas nafsu atau penyambung keturunan dan pengurus rumah tangga semata-mata.  Malah, peranan wanita jauh lebih luas skopnya dalam perspektif Islam; agama pembela kaum wanita.

Alangkah jahilnya apabila ada sesetengah orang yang berpendapat bahawa nasib dan gerakan wanita Islam adalah lambat dan terhad, malah dikekang oleh akidah Islamiyah.

Benarkah Islam itu mengehadkan ruang gerak kerja wanita, atau Islam memberikan panduan ke arah matlamat gerakan wanita yang sebenar?

Islam datang mengangkat darjat dan mengiktiraf peranan wanita.  Lantaran itu, setiap wanita haruslah kembali menghayati Islam.

Sesungguhnya untuk kembali menghayati Islam, kita perlu kembali kepada madrasah Rasulullah SAW, iaitu proses aawl tarbiah Islamiyah (pendidikan) yang dilaksanakan oleh Rasulullah SAW di bawah petunjuk Ilahi, bukan selainNya.  Asas untuk memperbaiki ummah ialah dengan memperbaiki usrah (keluarga) dan permulaan untuk memperbaiki usrah ialah dengan memperbaiki individu termasuklah wanita.  Usrah akan sempurna apabila wanita sedar akan peranannya.

Wanita disebut al-asatizatul alam (mahaguru alam), iaitu mahaguru yang mula-mula sekali berperanan untuk mendidik generasi kita (atau mana-mana generasi sekalipun).  Wanita yang tangannya mengayun buaian mampu menggegarkan dunia.  Sehingga ada ungkapan yang mengatakan wanita itu sungguh mempengaruhi hidup manusia; seorang ibu itu memerlukan 20 tahun untuk mendidik anaknya tetapi seorang wanita jahat hanya memerlukan 20 saat untuk menggoda dan menjatuhkan seorang lelaki.

Bagi seorang wanita bergelar Muslimah sejati pula, dia tidak pernah lari dan lalai dalam mengikuti sistem Islam dalam keadaan apa sekalipun walaupun terasing dan terbuang.  Dia tidak membiarkan hawa nafsunya lepas bebas laksana seekor haiwan liar sebagaimana wanita barat, melainkan memagarinya dengan lunas-lunas Islam yang agung dan luhur.  Wanita Islam yang berkualiti seperti itulah wanita sebenar yang mampu mencabar tamadun Barat yang sekular itu.  Di tangannya penentu jaya dan tidaknya sesuatu bangsa atau baik buruknya akhlak sesuatu kaum.  Runtuhnya akhlak mereka penentu runtuhnya sesuatu kaum.

Sebagai pendidik alam ini, setiap wanita perlulah melalui proses Tarbiah Islamiyah dan jika tidak terlaksana proses ini maka malanglah generasi Islam kerana mendapat didikan daripada wanita-wanita yang tidak mempunyai persiapan Islam.

Oleh itu, wanita perlu memahami peranan mereka kerana kesannya amatlah mendalam yang mana mereka mampu memperbaiki masyarakat sekiranya dihalakan matlamat ke sana.  Justeru, setiap wanita hendaklah memperbaiki diri dengan mendidik hati sanubari semoga mendapat asas untuk memperbaiki keluarga serta orang lain dengan fikrah Islam sebenar yang tulus suci.  Tarbiah yang dimaksudkan perlu diperjelaskan maksudnya agar tidak mendapat perspektif yang sukar dan samar di minda wanita.

Matlamat utama tarbiah adalah untuk melahirkan insan yang meletakkan Allah sebagai Rabb (Tuhan) dan penyembahan kepadaNya adalah mutlak, hanya kepadaNya, bukan selainNya.  Pendek kata, melahirkan insan yang hidupnya hanyalah untuk Allah sehingga setiap urusannya dan urusan masyrakat ditadbir dengan hukum-hukum Allah.  Persiapan inilah yang perlu meresap ke naluri wanita, malah setiap insan sepatutnya.   Tarbiah pula ialah penggunaan cara atau pendekatan yang paling berkesan untuk berinteraksi dengan fitrah manusia dan menambat hati mereka dengan cara hidup Islam sesuai dengan kemampuan dan uslub (cara) masing-masing.  Begitulah mudahnya tarbiah dan mampu dilaksanakan oleh setiap wanita secara psikologi sebagai mahaguru alam.

Sesungguhnya wanita memang benar-benar mendapat tempat yang mulia, dihormati dan disanjung tinggi oleh Islam.  Pengurniaan taraf wanita ini memang tercatat dalam Al-Quran dan As-Sunnah iaitu pengurniaan daripada Allah dan RasulNya.

Daripada Bilal bin Rabbah r.a, katanya, "Pada suatu hari aku menyaksikan Rasulullah SAW membuat empat garis di atas bahu sambil berkata bahawa wanita yang paling mulia di syurga ialah Khadijah binti Khuwailid, Fatimah Az-Zahra binti Muhammad, Mariam binti Imran dan Asiah isteri Firaun."

Inilah sebenarnya srikandi terunggul yang harus diletakkan ke depan sebagai contoh teladan dalam rangka kita kembali kepada hakikat Islam.  Srikandi-srikandi ini benar-benar berperanan sebagai wanita solehah yang mukminah sepanjang hidupnya.  Justeru, wajarlah sirah srikandi-srikandi ini dibaca, difahami, dihayati, dan dicontohi agar peranan agung mereka dalam pembentukan ummah tetap diwarisi oleh wanita-wanita solehah setiap zaman.

Skop peranan wanita adalah luas meliputi peranannya sebagai
• anak solehah (baik - penyejuk mata orang tua),
• isteri a'qilah (bijak - menambat hati suami),
• ibu mithaliah (contoh - ikutan yang baik buat anak-anak),
• hamba Allah mu'tiah (taat - patuhi suruhan dan jauhi laranganNya),
• individu Muslimah (berperibadi Islam - membaiki diri dan menunaikan kewajipan seorang Muslimah serta disulami bunga-bunga akhlak yang menawan) serta
• mujahidah mukminah (menyumbang kepada tertegaknya Islam dimuka bumi).

Setiap wanita perlu menghayati peranan-peranan ini sebagai elemen yang saling berkaitan dan satu kewajipan yang perlu dilaksanakan secara serentak.  Maka, sudah tentu peranan-peranan ini perlu dilaksanakan oleh seorang wanita sepanjang hidupnya.

- Seindah Mawar Berduri

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Lestari - Kupetik Bintang Bintang

Kupetik bintang-bintang
Biarpun banyak halangan
Rela tempuhi segalanya
Onak yang kupijak bagai tak rasa

Kusedar sejak mula
Tiada jalan yang mudah
Tapi kuyakini di dalam hati
Akhir terkota jua sumpah dan janji

Walau sukarnya bagi mu sayang
Perjalanan menyakitkan
Tapi hadapilah dengan kesabaran
Kan tiba kebahagiaan

Tiada batasannya
Usia ataupun rupa
Kita bersama memulakannya
Sehingga ke akhir kita terus berdua

Walau sukarnya bagi mu sayang
Perjalanan menyakitkan
Tapi hadapilah dengan kesabaran
Kan tiba kebahagiaan

Tiada batasannya
Usia ataupun rupa
Kita bersama memulakannya
Sehingga ke akhir kita terus berdua

_________________________________

Aku akan sedia ada untuk yang memerlukan aku, insya Allah.
Tapi... akan ada kah mereka waktu aku memerlukan nanti?
Allahu 'alam..

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Don't Treat Them Like They've Just Gotten A Contagious Disease

When somebody you know is backsliding, don’t treat them like they’ve just gotten a contagious disease.
In times of trouble we should reach out to people, not pull away from people.

Whatever you do, don’t avoid them. 
Avoiding somebody you know is backsliding just drives them further away from Allah تعالى, and it’s what the devil wants –– to get them alone so that he can continue to wage war in their mind.

Be there.
Show them that you care. Have mercy for them so that Allah تعالى have mercy upon you.
Besides, Islam forbids us to severe ties from one another. All the best!

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina
like emoticon






My Heart's with Him

My heart was his.
I thought it was.

We were never lovers, nor were we friends.  We were something in between, something I was afraid to reach.  It haunts me sometimes, the words i never found the courage to speak.

He used to come back, and I would let him.  This time maybe he would recognise me as the woman wanting to take care of him.  It happened so often but something inside my heart kept hope.

Even though he's gone, I sometimes wonder if a part of me will always be his.

When I prayed, I prayed for him.  He was part of my life I won't forget.  I loved a man I never had.  We almost made it... but my mind, it's at peace.

'Cause now my heart's with Him.  Where it always was meant to be..

This time, I leave all of it to Him and to only Him I depend on.
Insya Allah..

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

قصتنا (Our Story)

She will tell her children the story of you.  She promises she won't let the memories of you and her fade, even if the love you had for her had, has, or will.
She will use you as an example to fight for the one you love, even though you didn't fight for her.  She will still encourage her children to fight for theirs.
You will be her heart and her story.  A memory and a lesson.  All in one.  And she promises she will never let her sons make the same mistake you did.
Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Monday, 1 June 2015

Be with Her Because..

Be with her because you actually want to be with her, because you actually see a potential future with her, not because you are used to being with her.  Not because you're scared of the thought that being without them will ruin you.


The point of being in a relationship is to enjoy each other's company, is to be there to support each other when they need it most.  No one person, defines who you are.  They only compliment you.


_________________________________________________________________________________

The conversation got serious when I was asked about my dowry; how much would my parents agree on, and when can he see my parents.

Before that, would I want my future husband to bear my university costs?

All of that questions, half of it was answered in the same phone conversation.
Another half of it would depend on my parents agreement.

Being the eldest, I feel awkward..... hmm.

Ya Allah, kalau dia jodoh yang terbaik untukku..
Kau bukalah pintu hatiku untuk terima segala keburukan dan kelemahannya sepertimana dia sedia menerima aku seadanya.
Kau permudahkanlah urusan kami andai Engkau redhai masjid yang bakal dibina ya Allah..
Amiin!

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Rintihan Wanita Islam Di Dalam Penjara Syria

Rintihan Wanita Islam Di Dalam Penjara Syria

Surat ini telah berjaya dibawa seludup keluar dari Baad Assad Syria.  Ia menceritakan tentang rintihan wanita Islam yang kurang dikurung di dalam penjara Syria.


Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Penyayang.
Kami telah menulis berpucuk-pucuk surat dengan air mata dan rintihan hati tetapi malangnya tidak satu pun sampai kepada umat Islam di luar pintu besi ini.  Kami tidak dibenarkan menulis atau membaca.  Kertas dan pen diharamkan.  Penderitaan kami tidak dapat menembusi dinding-dinding hitam yang mengurung kami.  Tetapi kami yakin bahawa Insya Allah surat ini akan sampai kepada umat Islam seluruh dunia.

Dalam surat ini kami menceritakan tentang penderitaan dan kelaziman yang dikenakan oleh binatang-binatang pemabuk yang digunakan oleh kerajaan Syria ke atas kami dalam penjara jahanam ini.  Kalaulah setakat pukulan dan kejutan elektrik kami dapat bersabar menahannya, tetapi penderitaan kami di sini lebih daripada itu.

Dapatkah kami terus bersabar menahan hati apabila terdapat antara kami dirogol tanpa belas sehingga menghembuskan nafas terakhir.  Kami berharap kami todak diperanakkan di bumi ini.  Dari hati kami yang terseksa kami memohon agar semua umat Islam berusaha untuk menyelamatkan nyawa dan maruah kami.  Kalau dahulu, apabila seorang Muslimat meminta pertolongan daripada Khalifah Al-Mu'tasim kerana dizalimi dan dibunuh oleh binatang yang tidak berperikemanusiaan.

Ramai antara kami yang mengandung akibat perbuatan mereka.  Kami tidak meminta kami dibebaskan.  Kami hanya berharap agar penjara ini diletupkan dengan kami sekali di dalamnya.

Wahai Umat Islam seluruh dunia, cukuplah dengan tidurmu, takutlah di waktu kamu semua akan disoal di hadapan Allah di akhirat nanti tentang apakah yang kamu lakukan apabila mengetahui kezaliman dan jenayah yang dilakukan ke atas kami.  Apakah kesalahan-kesalahan Muslimat ini sehingga mereka dirogol dengan ganas dan ditelanjangi.  Mereka dipukul dan dikenakan kejutan elektrik.

Apakah kesalahan-kesalahan Muslimat ini sehingga terdapat Muslimat ini sehingga terdapat Muslimat muda yang terpaksa dihantar ke hospital dalam separuh mati akibat dirogol tanpa belas kasihan oleh 26 tukang seksa.  Apakah kesalahan mereka?  Suami mereka dibunuh di hadapan mata mereka sendiri.

Wahai umat Islam seluruh dunia, sebenarnya kamu nyenyak tidur.  Apakah jawapan kamu semua wahai umat Islam seluruh dunia?  Apakah kami akan terus berharap supaya kamu akan dapat menyelamatkan kami dari neraka yang tidak bersempadan ini?  Apakah cahaya murni akan menyinari kami untuk menerangkan hati kami yang terseksa ini???

BANGUNLAH WAHAI UMAT ISLAM SELURUH DUNIA!

Daripada,
Muslimat yang menjadi mangsa thoghut nasionalis Syria.
_________________________________________________________________________________


  • Diharap kita semua tersentak, sedar dan insaf apabila membaca artikel ini.  Sekiranya tidak terasa apa-apa muhasabahlah diri.
  • Bacalah dengan mata hati untuk melihat kebenaran.  Tidak ada bezanya Malaysia dan Syria.  Di mana-mana pun, Muslimat akan berhadapan dengan persekitaran yang menakutkan selagi umat Islam terus lalai begini.  Bangunlah!

- Seindah Mawar Berduri

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

 
 
 
 

You Left Her with a Broken Heart

She didn't ask you to leave, you did that all by yourself.  There were days where she would've fought for you, she probably still would.  There were times when I'd listen to her talk about you, trying to understand why you did the things you did.

You left her with a broken heart many times before you decided to leave.  She was just a girl who kept a place for you in her heart.  She carried you in her soul for so long.  But that didn't matter to you, you were never there to dry the tears you caused.  You were only there for yourself.

She climbed mountains to find peace, she's found strength again.  I only ever ask of you, if you ever see a girl like her, before you look twice, remember what you did to the girl you didn't deserve.

She's not the same girl you knew before.  The girl standing by you today is a stronger living.  She's stronger because of your doing.  If you're leaving now, silently leave and never appear in front of her again.  'Cause she's gonna hate you up to the core.  So if you're leaving, do it quickly and soon.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

~ Bicara Hati ~

Di negeri sendiri,
Makan minum.. sakit pening.. ada orang tengokkan.

• Dah masuk waktu makan, ada orang panggil keluar bilik.. Lambat keluar, lampu bilik tiba-tiba mati sendiri (macam terputus bekalan elektrik gitu lah lagaknya..)
Ye lah panggil makan je.. bukan panggil masak..  Susah sangat nak keluar hmm..

• Nak ikut adik-adik jalan kat Bugis tapi mabuk dan pitam,
Ada 'abang' pimpin jalan pelan-pelan..
Sampai ada mata-mata yang pandang semacam, dua macam, dan tiga macam! Tapi aku peduli apa...

• Nak makan luar hujung minggu tapi tak tahu nak makan apa,
Ada atok selalu ajak keluar makan.
Kalau atok ajak tu maknanya nak belanja lah..

• Nak ikut ibu merayap kat Bedok lepas appointment tapi kurang sihat,
Ada ibu pegang jalan pelan-pelan..
Balik tahan taxi lah.. hehe
Ni bukan ngada-ngada, tapi manja..!
.
• Nak pergi doctor minta MC tapi tak kuat nak jalan,
Ada ayah temankan..
Dah teman tu kiranya bayarkan sekali lah.. haha!

• Sampai hari terakhir sebelum berangkat pun, masih ada orang gegarkan katil untuk bangun pagi..
.
Agaknya kali ni Allah nak tunjukkan betapa aku sangat-sangat bergantung pada orang lain.
Agaknya kali ni Allah nak aku praktikkan pesan ibu; Be independent, Jangan suka susahkan orang, Kalau nak usaha sendiri..
Agaknya kali ni Allah nak aku rasa hidup berdikari tanpa keluarga.
Tapi, ni bukan agak aje.. memang dah berlaku!

Aku lah ibu yang cuci kain, masak, dan kemas tempat sendiri, nasihat itu ini.
Aku lah ayah yang siapkan duit jajan dan duit itu ini..
Aku lah adik yang dipesan itu ini, yang dimanjakan itu ini..
Aku lah juga atok yang belanja diri sendiri..

P/S: Ibu, Ayah, Isha, Muhd, Adk, Atok, jangn serik layan bdk manja sorang ni nnti..

Semoga aku terus cekal dan tabah hadapi semua ni untuk tahun-tahun akan datang.
Amiin!

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Sunday, 31 May 2015

Tawakkal

Exams can't be easy when you're dealing with severe menses pain, plus making you feel light-headed all the way from minute 1 to minute 120.

Last 2 papers to go.. bismillah!

Accept, let go, have faith.
Tawakkal.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Saturday, 30 May 2015

I Don't Want Him To Know

I've been lonely tonight.  I've been fighting the urge to text him and tell him that I miss him.  I don't want him to know anymore.

I wonder if he even misses me at all.
(Although he said he does.. but there's still the other side waiting on him.. and I always wonder how's things going on the other side..)

It's easiest when I don't see him, I won't deny that.  But I just want to be able to see him without it hurting.  I don't want him out of my life forever, I don't want him to forget me.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Friday, 29 May 2015

They're But Low EQ

Many people hang their success in life on their IQ level. Yet, there is something that can be an even stronger predictor of success. We all know really smart people who are limited in their lives because they just don’t play well with others. They have high IQs, but horribly low EQs.

Well, staying overseas.. miles away from your family members is definitely an eye opener. Especially when you're not in the best of health.

Allahu'alam.
May Allah give me the strength to continue what I started. Amiin!

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Du Fehlst Mir Sehr

Apa tu mkna status awk?

It's i miss you a lot

In Germany

You miss me ?
Aww

Awww
Ok
Haha

Eh tk jwb soalan

Soalan?

Tkplaa

Org dah lynkn.. tnya plk

Mna ada
Dy kne jwb
Bru tau

Hahaha
Ye lah

Yelah apa?
Tk jwb lg

Jgn nakal sngt lah wak
Heyh
Yes yes

Yes yes apa plk ni
Ni serious blur

Yes i miss u
Boleh ke?
Hahaha

I miss you too
:,(
But i hurt you more
Hmm

Tu lah..
Nk plaster satu

:,,,(
Nnty awk blk i give u moree eh
Plasternya
Dah hurt awk bnyk2 pn awk lg rindu kte eh
Hmm

Haha
Lambat lah
Post je

Asl wakk
Org yg dah hurt awk ni layak ke awk rindu dy
Hmm

Tk tau
Awk nk kt jwb apa eh?

Jwb apa awk rasa patut la

Abeh tk ada jwpn how?

Msti adnya
Tp klw tkd
Then tkp tk paksa

Ada satu je sbb yg kt ada so far.. tu pn weakness kt lah.. bkn salah awk pn
Nnti bila2 kt blng
Go wash up.. mkn.. dah mlm ni

Kne blng lpas kte mndi mnda ok
Lol

Yelah..
Now shooo
Hahah

Okk
Da blh blng klw awk free

Nk kt call eh?
Jap

Up to u
:)

_________________________________________________________________________________


Days will pass, the sun will set over again.  She'll be there still thinking of you.
You're the man she adores, the one she wants to learn more about.

She'll wonder if you notice her, if you hear her heart tremble as you approach her.  You'd think silence separates two people but words are not needed to speak the language of two hearts.

She'll often wonder what you think of her, she'll catch your eyes then look away.  She's afraid of what you mean to her.

I cannot read what a man tries so hard to hide, but there's something in the way you look at her, the way you comfort her when it seems the world has upset her.  Your eyes cannot lie.  I see that most when you're around her and it makes me wonder, maybe your souls have met before and maybe they've crosses paths to meet again because maybe you were never meant to be just friends.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Monday, 25 May 2015

When I Miss You

When I miss you, I tell Allah..

When you said you loved me, I was so tempted to give you a positive reply.  But instead, I hold back the urge..
Cause...

"When she missed him, she tells Allah not him.
Because only Allah will guide her to the right path and only Allah knows if he's the right one for her and her deen."

So when I miss you, I tell Allah.. not you.

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Saturday, 23 May 2015

Jihad Islam Hari Ini; Apa Peranan Kita?

"Rahmat Allah sentiasa terbuka luas buat jiwa yang mencarinya.  Kita dah tak ada masa untuk terlena. Umat Islam makin ditindas dan dianiaya. Kita perlu bangkit dengan mempraktikkan Islam dalam seluruh tingkah laku kita.  Itulah sumbangan kecil yang mampu kita lakukan dalam usaha bersama-sama dengan mereka yang ingin mengembalikan Islam bertakhta izzah di segenap dunia."

"Memang kita dah tak ada masa.  Kita mesti membela mereka.  Tapi, apa yang mampu kita lakukan?"

"Buatlah apa yang kita mampu dalam keadaan umat Islam lemah sekarang ni.  Sebagai pelajar di sini, menuntut ilmu juga satu jihad.  Jangan bertindak drastik memilih untuk meletupkan diri kerana kita juga sedang berjihad di sini.  Suasana mereka berbeza dengan kita.  Mereka dalam suasana pergolakan.  Bukankah Allah mengingatkan dlaam Al-Quran agar ada golongan umat Islam yang menuntut ilmu dan ada golongan ynag keluar berjihad.

Sebagai bukti sokongan, kita tak boleh lekang berdoa.. kerana doa merupakan senjata hebat umat Islam yang jarang dipraktikkan."

- Seindah Mawar Berduri

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

Renungilah Duhai Wanita

Renungilah duhai wanita...

Daripada Abu Musa, Rasulullah SAW bersabda,

"Setiap pandangan mata haram adalah penzina dan sesungguhnya apabila wanita itu mengenakan haruman kemudian dia berlalu menghadiri majlis, maka dia adalah penzina."

Menurut Syaikh al-Maududi, terdapat 3 pengertian tabarruj:

(a) Menampakkan keelokan wajah dan bahagian tubuh yang boleh membangkitkan nafsu syahwat di hadapan lelaki yang bukan mahram.

(b) Mempamerkan pakaian dan perhiasan yang indah di hadapan lelaki yang bukan muhrimnya.

(c) Mempamerkan diri dan berjalan dengan lengook-lenggok di hadapan kaum lelaki yang bukan muhrim.

Sabda Rasulullah SAW: "Wanita yang berpakaian teteapi sebenarnya telanjang untuk mencari perhatian lelaki, yang melenggok-lenggokkan tubuhnya, yang kepelanya seperti punuk unta, mereka itu tidak akan masuk syurga."
(Riwayat Muslim)

_________________________________________________________________________________

Nafsu mengatakan wanita cantik atas dasar rupanya.
Akal mengatakan wanita cantik atas dasar ilmu dan kepandaiannya.
Hati mengata wanita cantik atas dasar akhlaknya.

- Seindah Mawar Berduri

Yang ikhlas,
'Izzah Syauqina

We Tried to Hide Our Feelings

نكابر في مشاعرنا، نسينا عيوننا تحكي
We tried to hide our feelings
but we forgot that our eyes speak

I'm very good at hiding what I feel.. but I know very well that my eyes will give it away.  And that's just who I am; trying to please my loved ones, ignoring what I feel.  Although it hurts, I know it's worth it even though they might not see my sacrifices, be it family or friends.  So be it!

Yesterday was a big exception.  When he asked for my opinion.  I told him in good words to leave her even if it's gonna cost his his pride..  And deep down I was hurt cause up till then, he's still thinking about what she's feeling.  He doesn't want to hurt her.  When back then, he was okay hurting me?  Hmm.. 

Anyway, I told him if he's gonna leave her, do it once and for all.  Cause eventually she has got to pick herself up and grow.  (Just like me!  Don't you ever, for once, think about what I felt back then?!)  It's gonna hurt, but let it be this once, and no other.  (Talking from experience, huh?)

Oh well, he said yes to my one cent suggestion.
We'll just wait and see..

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina 

Thursday, 21 May 2015

It Never Stops Hurting, Does It?

It never stops hurting, does it?
"What?"
Giving someone the best of you and watching them choose someone else.

Yeah.  Never.  Until you fully let go.  But can you, girl?
7 years.. and you still want to count..??
After all..... this nonsense?

I can understand if you hate me cause I'm still holding on to it no matter.  I myself cannot understand this tolerance I have for that one particular person.  I guess be it the psychologists nor the relationship master can understand me.  So be it!

I'll hang on till I can't; being married to another, or him, marrying another.  Either way, then will my heart settle for a no-go in our -ship.

I don't know what's got into me, but one possible reason is, he is my 1st love..
Should I fight for it?

Yes!
But I can't bring myself to hurt the other side.. she's still young!  Younger by a year I mean.. heyh!  And it's her 1st love too....

No!
You move on girl..  There's so much you can do in life.. so much waiting for you!!  Why holding on still while you're only an option?  WAKE UP!!!

I'm at a lost.  I feel like holding on again and again.  This time round, let it flow.. whichever way it goes, I'll accept it, insya Allah.


Sisters, if you're reading this.. please.. don't be stupid!  Leave before you get too attached.  Love your Creator, and true love will get to you in the right way, insya Allah.. Amiin!

Your Sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

How Can I Tell You How Much I Miss You

How can I begin to tell you how much I miss you without using those three common words that can't even start to express the magnitude nor the depth of my emotions.

How can I write in my own blood while wanting to revert its colour. The colour of blood is similar to "I Miss You". It has been raped by writers and lovers constantly.

I want to be able to create a new alphabet that can simply stand in front of you without bowing. I want to use new metaphors that would erupt like volcanoes between the phrases of the readers' souls.

Metaphors such as your absence is similar to eating salt straight from the shaker while thirst is devouring my tongue.

Metaphors such as the lack of your presence is like being straddled behind the glass of my own senses.

Du fehlst mir sehr..
I miss you a lot..

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

There are Hearts that Won't Ever Hate You

There are hearts that won't ever hate you, no matter how much you hurt them.

هناك قلوب لن تكرهك مهما أوجعتها..

The things that happened yesterday will lead you to a better tomorrow.
In the midst of all the mess he's in, the cleared the air with the other party tonight.  And.... we actually rough planned our future.. again.  This time I hope, for the best of both.

It wasn't a planned one..  It started with me asking if it's possible to miss someone whom we have yet to know, and that I wanted to get married soon, but wasn't in contact with anyone to be able to have him as a candidate.

Can't really remember his reply to that, but that was how the conversation started.

I stated my standard; wanting to get married, without getting engaged as planned before.  And he replied in a second, to give him some time.. probably around a year to complete his national service and to start working on his plan for a brighter future, insya Allah.

This conversation was hard on both sides, I realised.. cause I couldn't possibly agree to marry him given the condition of my heart being broken and things.  Also, he just broken up his relationship ties with the other party in less than a day.

But it became serious, nonetheless.  And I can feel that he is.  So much so that I wanted to be happy, I reserve part of my feelings just so that if ever anything happens, I won't be as broken as before.  Just being careful.  Plus, I've promised my best buddy that I won't get hurt again.  And not this time, insya Allah.

Judging from the events that happened around us, isn't it one of the strong points that we are meant to be if Allah permits?  Allahu 'alam..

Anyway, I hope for the best and will always pray for the best.
Allahumma sahhil umuranaa, amiin!

Just another note I'd like to jot.  Do make some prayers for us, insya Allah..
Goodnight peeps!!

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Monday, 18 May 2015

"Moustache"

"Kalau bahasa Inggiris, kita panggil moustache.
Kalau bahasa Arab, perkataan yang paling dekat dengan moustache apa?"

"مشتاق!"

Wallahi, rindu sangat.  Cuma mulut ni nafikan kata hati.  Hati kena kuat.. tak boleh jatuh lagi kali ni.

No, I don't regret you. Not at all.
What I regret is not leaving when I should have. :)

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Sunday, 17 May 2015

"Rasanya Indah Nampak Dua Udang"

16th May 2015

At times, the heart can feel more than the eyes can see.

I miss you too.. but let it be my secret for now.

Decode: rASANYA iNDAH nAMPAK dUA uDANG

Yours sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina

Thursday, 14 May 2015

At The End of The Call; I Miss You

Let me get this straight.

If you start talking to me everyday and night, I'm obviously going to get attached to you.
Even if I never planned to in the first place, I will.

So before you start getting close to me, make sure you won't just leave me. Cause, you know.. that happens a lot to me.

----------------------------------

And at the end of the call, there's an awkward I Miss You.
*hang up*

Yours Sincerely,
'Izzah Syauqina